1st blog of the new decade, refocused on life in a positive light.

well this is my 1st blog of the new year, aka new decade. lets recap, and see where i end up before this blog is over. lifes been an incredible journey for me in the short 22 years ive been here. people have come, people have gone. some people have come back twice, and left twice as much as that.. some of it has made me stronger, some of it has weakened me a little to be quite honest but i appreciate everyone ive shared close relationships with. whether you were just friends,relatives, companions, relatives of companions.. whatever you were you all meant somethin to me and still do. i was blessed to experience times with you all, and i hold you close to my heart. the past decade has taught me alot, alot about life and the people in life. ive always been naive when it comes to people, but i dont see that as a challenge that i need to over come in order to understand people, i see it as a gift of having compassion for folks and not having stereotypical thinking. i believe all people have the ability to change, its just up to we as people to want to change. no one is incapable, or a "product of our own environment" i grew up in a rough neighborhood, but from looking at me you wouldnt be able to tell. i knew what was right or wrong, i chose to follow my own path, which is why i view people the way i do. dont get me wrong, ive made some terrible choices in my life, but thats all part of the growing experiece. people do as they want, then learn from that choice on either that choice was good and i should continue, or that choice was bad, maybe i shouldnt do that again, or if the choice was bad, but there was no reprecussion for it, they choose it again because they didnt get caught or there was no consequence or whatever. ive got to say my most trying time, would be the year 2009. this year has just been crazy. feeled with pain, heartache, and negativity all around. the year started off rocky, and in my attempt to fix it, got even worst. it all got worst in the summer. july 1st solidified that. funny how this was the start of the other half of the year. this time just was feeled with so much desperation and pain. i can still feel all those emotions and its just a crazy situation i was in. i wont go into detail about it because ill be here all night, and people have a short attention span... lol.. at anyrate this is where the weakening me comes in. i can honestly say it broke me down to an embarrassing mind state for some one like me, and i vow to never revisit that again. im stronger now. ive learned from that. and because of re-establishing my relationship with god, ive come out more focused and smarter in decision making. that part of my life isnt over yet, theres still some "deals" so to speak to be worked out before i can trully move on from that part of my own history. it just seems like a whole nother world when i look back on it. the air was different, the vibe, just everything was crazy, i can feel every detail of all those terrible moments. but like i said in the beginnging, im thankful for all people who have come and gone, im thankful for all these experiences for they have set the blueprint and ground work for different things to happen, and different people to enter my life, and some to exit.. ill continue on this path and know that god will show me the way.. 2010 has been my excape from all of the negativities of 09 and im being clairvoyant when i say nothing but good will come from this year. im looking forward to it. AUH AUH